I was on a mission. Nothing was going to stop me from milking these goats. I put on my jacket and headed into town to our local farm supply store. I was hoping they would have milking stands that I could possibly rent or maybe I could sweet talk them into letting me borrow one? The hubs promised me that by the end of tomorrow he would make me a milking stand so I didn’t want to actually buy one. Strike one – no milking stand to borrow, rent or buy. So I did the next best thing and stopped at a gas station to pick up my secret weapon. Something no goat can resist. Something that turns them to putty in your hands.
I was thinking I would bribe them into letting me milk them. Then on the way home I had a brilliant idea. Why didn’t I think of this before? Right down my street there is a goat farm!! Yippee!! Maybe they would be able to help me. So I pulled into their driveway, knocked on the front door, took a deep breath and when they opened the door I introduced myself and explained my horrendous situation. They were more than happy to
get rid of me as quickly as possible help me and sent me on my merry way with an old broken down milk stand to borrow for the whole weekend! I was in business. I would now be able to relieve my poor little girls from this milk overload they were carrying around.
First I had to get this 300 pound milk stand out of my car and into the barn that was some distance away. I managed to balance it on top of my little green garden wagon and wheel it close enough that when it fell off I could drag it the rest of the way. When it was finally set up in the barn I made a few minor adjustments to it and I was good to go. The goats were looking on anxiously the whole time watching as I filled the feed bucket that was going to keep their attention while I milked. My first
victim goat was the Lamancha who is much bigger and much hungrier so onto the stand she went. I needed to secure her head and the head holder on the stand was broken so I fastened her in with a slip knot that I tied around her neck with the dogs leash. We talked a little, I petted her a little and when she was feeling comfy I started to milk. Except here we go again.. nope, she wasn’t having it and proceeded to jump off the stand. Now this next part of the story is not a good one so prepare yourself. When she jumped off of the stand the leash that I tied around her neck tightened. It tightened so much that I was not able to release it from her or from the stand. Her life flashed before my eyes and I found myself thinking I can not kill this goat, I didn’t even have her for 24 hours! Somehow with the strength of Mighty Mouse I was able to somehow pick her up and get that leash from around her neck. Please don’t call animal welfare on me folks because it really was an accident and I would never ever in a million years ever do anything to harm my girls. The whole incident lasted all of 2 minutes but to me and her it felt a life time. Being the trooper that she is she jumped right back up on the table looking for her food and this time we got the job done. I managed a whole 2 cups from her. What a doll.
Next came little Dutchess. She is a Nigerian Dwarf goat so she is small which means her teats are invisible. To milk her you can only use your thumb and pointer finger. We accomplished our task without incident. The only thing was she kept trying to sit down on me the whole time. I had to hold her up with my shoulder while leaning in and trying to milk these invisible teats with two fingers and hold a mason jar between her legs. Having 5 children teaches you to multi task and that right there folks was multitasking at its finest.
When the girls were done they each got a big hug, a giant kiss and an animal cracker and I got 3 cups of the sweetest, creamiest goat milk in town. I think this is going to turn out just fine.